tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43952149088312914872024-02-18T18:25:22.677-08:00Nomadic PilgrimAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-41854197330506889392017-02-09T17:32:00.001-08:002017-02-09T17:32:24.840-08:00One Whole Year AgoI had intended to write this yesterday, but Wednesday is pretty much my hardest and longest day of the week. Also, I had a STATS quiz that I was super anxious about. But it's over and I feel confident about my work on it!<br />
<br />
One full year ago, yesterday, I first met Dan Wahlgren, and his daughter Emmie. They would eventually become my employer, and dear friend, respectively.<br />
<br />
When my big brother said "Let's go to Bible Study", I had no clue that night would completely change my planned trajectory for my life. I had figured I would hear some cool stuff about the Christian walk from a couple of learned men, and I was looking forward to meeting some of my brother's friends.<br />
I had no idea that those people would become my friends too, one day.<br />
<br />
At the beginning of the two Bible studies we attended that night, Dan presented Table in the Wilderness. He was recruiting Summer Staff and "looking for students who can give a Summer to God". I remember him advertising the opportunity and thinking "This sounds cool, but I'm not a student." After the first intro I knew I had to, at least, go to their little table and get information, I made sure the interaction was brief. I didn't want to commit to anything yet. Throughout the Bible Study something weighed heavier and heavier on me, until I got up, got an application, and filled it out during the second Bible Study. Hearing Dan's spiel a second time was pretty convincing as well.<br />
When I brought the application back, we had a brief conversation about who I was. He invited me to come up to Camp the next day and meet with him and his wife.<br />
<br />
So, a year ago today I went to Table in the Wilderness for the first time. My jaw basically became unhinged as I made my way up the now-familiar Highway 130, and into the Snowies. I kept taking pictures and nearly wrecking while doing so. I was ELATED. I was nearly in tears it was so beautiful. I was enchanted by the quaintness of Centennial (still am, actually).<br />
<br />
I believe I met Nate first, as I tried to find my way around the Lodge. He took me to the Office and I met Sandra for the first time. She would eventually become one of the most vital pieces in my growth process of this Summer, and I would end up referring to her as our Camp-Mom.<br />
Over the next hour we had my "interview". Technically it was an interview, but really it felt like a conversation about life, faith, and Christ with old friends.<br />
They would offer me the position on the spot, with the wise words of "Do not give us an answer yet. Go home, pray about it, talk it over with your boyfriend and your family, and give us an answer in a week. Just let us know that you made it home safely."<br />
<br />
A week later I would give them my answer.<br />
<br />
<br />
I am struggling to put into words just how surreal it is to think about my life and where I was one full year ago.<br />
When I think about all the relationships I am establishing and cultivating here in Laramie...I am staggered to think of a life without these people. A life not here. A life back in Ohio, doing whatever it is I'd be doing now. It's almost entertaining to try and imagine myself back in Ohio, because, well, I CAN'T. I can barely even picture it.<br />
I could sit here and list the dozens of people I've met since I moved here, but it would be a little pointless. Those names would mean little to most of you. But each and every one means something significant to me, because each one is like a constellation pointing to Polaris - and Polaris is the reason I'm here.<br />
Each connection I've established is the reason I'm here.<br />
Every opportunity to love someone and share life with them is the reason I moved to Laramie.<br />
Every chance to serve and lay down my life is the point of me moving here.<br />
<br />
Now, this isn't to say that God wouldn't be using if I'd never come here. But for whatever unknown millions of reasons, He sees it best for me to serve here.<br />
This also isn't to say that any of relationships back in Ohio were or are pointless or fruitless. I do my best to stay in contact with people from home, whether it's through this blog, or social media, or texting, or occasional phone calls.<br />
<br />
Sure. I get home sick sometimes. There are Sunday mornings that I wake up and want nothing more than to be reunited with my family at Indianola Church of Christ. But day by day, bit by bit, God is continuing to open my heart to become a family member here. He's holding my hand and guiding me through the process of being here, and making my home here. I don't know how long my home will be here. I don't know for how much of our lives Kitty and I will reside here.<br />
For right now, we are here and we do our best to make the very most of it.<br />
<br />
Thank you, to each and everyone of you who has ever loved me, believed in me, and supported me. I wouldn't be here without YOU.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-89262720355578995092017-01-14T23:13:00.001-08:002017-01-14T23:13:13.437-08:00Fully Content, Fully PresentMy sister recently shared a blog post with me that a young girl, about my age, wrote. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/corinne-rogero/i-should-be-engaged_b_8969758.html">It was about her "word" for the year being engaged,</a> and how she wants to focus on engagement this year.<br />
<br />
No, not that kind of engagement. It's a bit click-baity in that you read it expecting that she's betting her year on becoming engaged to be married. Instead, she wants to honestly and intimately engage with the people around her. To be fully present in the moment, not living in a day dream or a social media lie.<br />
<br />
It struck a weird chord inside of me. A personal one that has been carefully and deeply buried under layers of pain, growth, and experience. Because, in one particular year, I did bet my life on becoming engaged to man. I had been told by a man who claimed to be speaking by the power of God, that I would be engaged that year. Life more or less crumbled around me as that prophecy became less and less likely to be true.<br />
I hinged a lot of decisions that year on the hope that I would finally not be alone. That I would finally have a man to come home to and go through life with. Surprisingly, it as rather liberating when I finally let that dream die and be buried in that year. I received a greater measure of liberty and freedom when I stopped treating it like a fortune cookie.<br />
<br />
All of that to say:<br />
I am as single as the broken Pringle at the bottom of the can that you just can't quite reach, and I'm becoming OK with it.<br />
<br />
So this year I am making a conscious effort to focus on being completely content with where I am and who I am, and not spend energy in looking for a man. I've wasted a lot of time obsessing over this boy, or that boy, or regretting poor relationship decisions, or fretting over whether or not a certain someone would notice me. And I am just 100% done with it. It's exhausting, and it leaves me stressed, and frustrated. I get angry when a guy I notice doesn't notice me back. I want to scream and ask why I'm not __enough for him.<br />
I can't always help it when my emotions are basically flying out the window, and I'm trying to bring them all back inside with a strong "CONTROL YOURSELVES, CHILDREN". But. I <i>am</i> in <i>complete</i> control of the decisions I make. I choose whether or not I am going to act on impulse towards a guy I'm attracted to. I decided whether or not to feed the anger, or the jealousy that says "you deserve what SHE got, she doesn't deserve it". It's my responsibility to make the right choice every time, in spite of how I feel.<br />
In 2017 I am going to make a conscious effort to complain about my relationship status less, and less, and take more joy in the daily relationships that I build and experience at work, school, and in the Church community. Instead of being mindful of, and obsessed with, what I don't have, I am going to be thankful for all the wonderful things and people that I do have.<br />
<br />
Please, if you ever hear me whining about my singleness feel free to remind me of this very blog post.<br />
<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-67775073249252420352017-01-03T22:17:00.001-08:002017-01-03T22:17:03.783-08:00New Year, New...everything.As I went out to enjoy the last hours of 2016 I had high hopes of making the night fun, and enjoyable.<br />
<br />
The first couple of hours were spent in a bar I'd never been in before, proudly decked out in scarlet and grey clinging to my Buckeyes for dear life, and watched as The Ohio State fell very, very hard straight onto their faces. The end was a sweet relief. I didn't have to watch them flop and fumble anymore, or think of my friends who had driven across the country just to watch our team lose.<br />
<br />
But I was determined to shake it off and have a great night anyways.<br />
<br />
I spent a little while at The Tap, talking to people and waiting for Elk Tongue's show to begin at 8Bytes Cafe. I was excited to finally go to a show, it had been far too long. Plus, the band consists of two of my coworkers so mostly everyone I've ever met in Laramie was going to be there. And we all had plans to head back to Tap at Midnight for the champaigne toast. What about this night could go wrong?<br />
<br />
Well. For me, a lot.<br />
<br />
It took all of about 10 minutes for a very unexpected bout of rather intense anxiety and introversion to punch me in the face. Very hard. I could not keep still, and I lost all desire to dance and experience the band. I couldn't even stand still long enough to wait in the bar line and order a drink. I tried very hard to participate in the festivities, but these unwelcome memories kept coming over me like a flood. I knew it was time for me to go when a coworker asked if I had a sad face on. I had no desire to bum anyone's night, so I left. I went back to CoalCreek. I sat at the coffee bar for awhile, fighting tears. I tried to go to Tap a few times, but every time I did my brain just started screaming "Too many people! No! Go back! Get out!" I wanted nothing more than to just leave completely, and stand on the bridge staring at the stars at midnight.<br />
<br />
Another coworker asked me if I was ok, and I just cried more. I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to cry more.<br />
<br />
Eventually we went to Tap, to get ready for the toast. And that's when I couldn't fight the tears anymore.<br />
That's when the memories I'd been struggling to bury resurfaced like the undead from the grave.<br />
<br />
And I completely broke down.Cried into my flute and everything.<br />
<br />
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-<br />
<br />
My first hours of 2016 were spent in the arms of the one I used to love. I bet my life and my future on him. I put all of my eggs into his basket.<br />
We started our year on some uncertainty. That uncertainty grew, and grew until it became a canyon between us that pushed us further and further apart.<br />
The plans that we had begun to build and work towards slowly began to crumble and fall apart. He began changing his mind on things that used to be steadfast. The more he became unsure, the more i fought, kicked, and screamed to make sure I got what I wanted out of the relationship.<br />
The harder I fought, the more he pulled away.<br />
<br />
And then one day, after weeks of tears and arguments, he went back to Cleveland. I cried a lot more. I think a part of me, deep down lost somewhere inside of me, the voice I had quit listening to when my heart became so set on getting married that I wanted nothing else in life, It knew we were over. I knew we were coming to an end. But I fought, hard. Because I knew what I wanted, and I thought I knew what I needed.<br />
<br />
I had no clue where God was sending him, or what he was being called to. He barely knew himself. But I knew that I was being sent West.<br />
<br />
And then. Less than two weeks after I had arrived at Table in the Wilderness, all of my dreams, hopes, and plans that I carried into the year were completely shattered.<br />
In a short couple of texts, and a long phone call or two, everything was just...over.<br />
<br />
It took five days for me to fall apart. It took five days for the shock to wear off. Five days for the tears to come, and then not stop for an entire day.<br />
It took a Summer of conversations. Love. Hugs. Prayers. Leaning on shoulders. An amount of reliance on other people that I've never experienced before.<br />
<br />
If you've read my past blogs, you know that my Summer was pure adventure, experience, and healing. I'm not going to bother reiterating all of it. I short: it was exactly what I needed. It was a time that God began to rebuild my hopes, dreams, and plans. He killed the ones that I had thought were what I needed, and He showed me little glimpses of His hopes, plans, and dreams for me.<br />
<br />
As Summer turned to Fall, I found myself back in school, working as a barista, and living alone with my precious little The Frog Princess Buttercup.<br />
Alone.<br />
Sometimes I wake up and the crushing sense of loneliness is like a weight on my whole body that won't let me out of bed. Just sitting there glaring at me, reminding me that I'm not married, I'm not dating anyone, and I am very, very alone.<br />
The loneliness reminds me that there is a wedding dress sitting in a closet as good as rotting.<br />
The loneliness makes sure that I remember that so many of my friends got married, while my relationship completely fell apart.<br />
<br />
But then.<br />
On January 1st. I went to work hating the world. Pissed off. Frustrated. Cranky as all get out. Snapping at my coworkers. Trying very hard not to glare at customers. Failing at lying when people said "How was your New Years Eve?" I wanted to tell people I was fine, but I could not lie. Instead I was almost bluntly honest with them, and then hurriedly apologizing for being a cynic.<br />
<br />
Before I knew it, my coworkers were surrounding me with love and some really powerful advice about embracing being alone. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"The world is your oyster. The world is my oyster. The world is OUR oyster. We're not married! We're out here on our own, for the first time! And we can do ANYTHING. You are not broken because you're not married. Your story is not your friend's story. Your friend's stories are not your story. Your story is your story. Embrace it. Love yourself. Don't wait for a man to give you purpose. Because a man can't give you purpose. A man can't complete you. You have to be complete on your own before you're ready to share the REST of your life with a boy!"</i></div>
<br />
Thank you, Abbey. I love you. I'm thankful beyond words that we work together.<br />
<br />
<br />
All of this to say:<br />
It's a New Year and I've got pretty much new everything going for me. Except, my faithful books and art...but, well, you get the point. Everything is new. My life looks nothing like it did 365 days ago. It frightens and excites me at the same time. But in all honesty, I hope my life doesn't change THAT much all over again this year.<br />
And no. I am not making a resolution this year. I haven't done one since I was like ten or twelve. And I am also no longer doing the projections, either. I'm tired of being disappointed in what I hope to happen in a year. I'm just letting it all go, and am going to be content in whatever this year contains.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-58881258548642897312016-09-08T18:04:00.000-07:002016-09-08T18:04:15.681-07:00Is God your Cosmic Consultant? Part 2.How many times (roughly) do you think you've asked God for wisdom and direction in your life?<br />
Is it more often for something specific; do I take this job? do I date this person? do I buy this house? which major do I choose?<br />
<br />
I've often prayed these things to Him. In my last relationship, I often said "God, help me to see what You want in my life. If You don't want me in this relationship, then let me know. I want to see what you see."<br />
<br />
I don't know how many times I prayed this prayer. Dozens. Maybe even hundreds. But I don't think I meant it, ever. I wanted God's input. I wanted His advice. I wanted His perspective on my life. I wanted His opinion, blended in with all the other opinions of all of my friends and family members. I just wanted to know what He thought about things.<br />
<br />
I didn't actually want His leadership. I didn't actually see God as Lord - ruler and leader - of my life. I wanted to do my own thing and then know what He thought of it.<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm sharing all of this with you because I don't want my friends to handle their lives the same way. I don't want people to view God the same way I did for so long.<br />
If you're going to give your life to God, then give it to Him.<br />
If you say you surrender; then actually surrender.<br />
If you say to Him in your worship and prayers "I am Yours, take me where You want me" then mean it. Because when you say those kinds of things to Him, He will challenge you on them. He will put you to the test to see if you're serious or not.<br />
<br />
And the closer you walk to Him the more and more He will challenge you - dare you even - to walk closer to Him and lay down a little more of yourself to Him everyday. To die a little more everyday to yourself, to your desires, and to your own hopes.<br />
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When you ask Him what He wants for you, do you really mean it? Do you really want Him to rule over you and be your King?<br />
<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-77926296597840653662016-09-02T22:06:00.001-07:002016-09-08T16:34:13.371-07:00Is God your Cosmic Consultant? pt. 1Life is so surreal right now.<br />
<br />
When I was a kid I wrote a little poem about one day growing up and living in the City, away from the farm and away from my parents.<br />
I used to, at night, use the house-key to lock and unlock our never locked front door, and go in and out of our house, dozens of times, pretending I was a grown-up going in and out of my apartment; to and from work or whatever. I think at that age my dream job was a detective. I had recently discovered Sherlock Holmes and I wanted nothing more in life than to be a British consulting detective.<br />
<br />
I may no longer be in a giant, million-person City, but I am now living alone. Every night I come home to my happy, cuddly, sweet little kitty. She greets me, checks on me, and then follows me around the apartment crying until I get into bed. She then curls up next to me with a little kitty smile on her face and purrs both of us to sleep. I like her a lot. She makes my apartment a home.<br />
<br />
Since I made the decision to move into town I have been actively and consciously looking for Christian community to be a part of other than just Sunday morning service. Through two of my best buds from Camp I ended up at a campus Navigators meeting on Wednesday night. Navs is one of many Christian college-level organizations designed to help students in their walks with Christ through their college career.<br />
I've been to a quite a few Campus ministry meetings over my life, but this one. Wow. I was impressed not only with the message, but also with the number of young Christians I met and their immediate genuineness and kindness towards me.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
The point of the message was:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Is it worth your time to actively follow and pursue God in your college career?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Yes. It most definitely is.<br />
<br />
"Why do you spend money for what is not good to eat, and your wages for what does not satisfy? <b>Listen carefully to Me, </b>and eat what is good, and let your soul delight itself in abundance. Incline your war, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live; And I will make an everlasting covenant with you -" Isaiah 55:2-3<br />
<br />
Good question.<br />
Why do we spend our money on worthless things that do no satisfy our souls?<br />
Why did I spend so much time and energy in my first round of college trying to satisfy my fleeting wants and desires?<br />
Why do we "eat" what is bad and fill our hearts with junk and trash?<br />
<br />
The speaker talked about his own fleshly pursuits in college, and how, in the long run, it greatly benefited his life to lay aside all of that and really, truly pursue God's Heart. He'd grown up in Church, but he had never really let God lead his life.<br />
As he was talking I was reminded of the message I'd heard last Sunday Morning at the EvangelicalFree Church:</div>
<br />
<b>"If you're treating God as a cosmic consultant, He is not Lord of your life. God doesn't give advice. He gives instruction."</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
That line hit me right in the heart. Hard.<br />
I was immediately reminded of how often I had prayed about my last relationship while I was in it; wanting to hear God's advice and input in my life but not actually wanting His rule and authority in my life. Even now, as I write this, it still ties my stomach in knots and makes me shake my head in shame and regret.<br />
<br />
I can't change the past, but I can wisely improve the present by learning from my past and the pasts of those around me who share their own lessons, trials, and mistakes,.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-49029760806236614092016-08-15T16:53:00.000-07:002016-08-31T16:54:08.138-07:00His Heart for PeopleWere you ever taught or led to believe that Jesus was only a vengeful and angry man?<br />
<br />
I believed that for a long time.<br />
I had often pictured Him as someone Who only ever brought the sword and judgement down upon His enemies, or the people who didn’t heed Him. I saw Him as angry, more often than not, when He was speaking to the crowds or to His disciples.<br />
<br />
But here we see something different. He is standing on Mount Olivet, looking down at Jerusalem, and He is weeping for the broken lives within. He is not angry that they will very soon crucify Him. He’s not pronouncing curses on them for what they are about to do; instead, His heart is broken for what He knows they will do. Not that He was sad for His death, but that He is utterly distraught that they are blind and broken souls.<br />
<br />
It is so easy for me to look at sin, and look down upon the person in pride. To say “Well, my sins aren’t as bad as yours. Thank God I am not like you.” Or to think “Man, can’t you choose a less extreme sin? What is wrong with you! Stop destroying your life and the lives of your loved ones!”<br />
<br />
But in this particular passage we see Jesus in pain as He weeps for the broken, lonely, and angry lives in the City of Jerusalem. And even now, His heart is broken for this World. He doesn’t look at people in their sin and want or desire to punish and burn them. No. He wants to reach them in their fear and loneliness and rescue them from it all. He wants to set people free to walk in true love to each other.<br />
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And He wants His people to have the same heart; to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free. The only way we can do this is by His Spirit - loving with His heart, and seeing the World and our neighbors with His eyes. We can never force someone into freedom. Or scold and lecture them into grace. We can only, by the Holy Spirit, show them the door and they themselves have to walk through it.<br />
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I encourage you, if you don’t already, to pray to have His heart and eyes for people. That He help you to love people beyond your own physical limits, and beyond what you alone can see of their lives. I know that, personally speaking, it makes a lot of difference in the lives of my Campers when I do this. It helps me to patient with the unruly ones. It helps me to have the right words to say the tired, hurt, and worn ones. And it pulls me out of my own shell of selfishness and step into someone else's pain for a little while.<br />
<br />
Until next time,<br />
Peace, love, grace, and blessings be multiplied to you.<br />
<br />
*bonus note about the photo:<br />
I took this sitting on the rooftop of one of the coolest restaurant concepts I’ve ever been to; a place in Denver called Avanti. My friend Marissa was showing me all the hippest places...until, right after this, she drove me through the heart of the gentrification. I was in such shock I didn’t even know how to respond as she explained to me that thousands of people were, quite literally, forced out of their third and fourth generation homes because a new stretch of highway was built. They were forced to sell their homes, and were given so little for them that there’s nowhere in Denver they can afford to live; so they’re homeless. The line for the shelter stretched down a street and began to wrap the block. A woman yelled to her friend “What’s wrong with these people? Why they gotta rob an old man! He’s jus’ an old man. He wasn’t doing anything. Why they gotta go rob him?!” Another woman was rocking back and forth sobbing uncontrollably while a young man attempted to calm her down and get her to breathe. And quite a few others just shuffled down the sidewalks, or sat and waited for their next crack-high. It is an image forever burned in my heart as I crawl into a comfy bed every night, and know where and how I’ll get my meals everyday.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-66180739270131846712016-07-22T00:00:00.000-07:002016-08-31T16:47:18.896-07:00He Leads Us in HIS WayThe current group we are hosting is a national youth group, with divisions of students from California, Colorado, and our very own Laramie. It’s pretty cool to see these young men and women from all over come together as one under Christ with us for this past week. And next week we have the pleasure of serving the same youth group, but their middle schoolers instead of high schoolers.<br />
I’ve sat in on some of their evening Chapel services and they really have been a blessing to me. I’ve learned from their speaker, leaders, and students alike. It truly is a beautiful and wonderful thing to see God working so intimately with so many people, especially young people, and then to see them in response have their hearts open to Him and to each other.<br />
The first Chapel I attended the above verse was one of the focus passages. It really snapped me to attention because about a week ago I was meditating on this very verse and God spoke to me through it. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself…let me back up and explain.<br />
<br />
Right before I departed to come here I met with two different OSU Advisors, talked over a lot of academic options, and decided to register for a class in the University Exploration Major. Which is a fancy way of saying Undecided. The goal of the class is to educate the student on the various majors and minors offered at OSU, discover my own strengths and weaknesses, and help to focus my desires into a tangible career. Everyone here at Camp knew I was thinking about going back to school full-time, but very undecided as to the how and what. So part of the reason that I chose to come here was that I’d more clearly discover what I’m good at and where my talents are.<br />
I’ll never forget the moment in the van on the way to the river when Trystan asked me “Lizz, you ever thought about counseling?” The pause in my response was hilariously awkward as I tried to figure out why Trystan thought I needed to see a counselor.<br />
Of course what she meant was, have you thought about becoming a counselor? She was particularly struck by how easily I meet people exactly where they are, and how words of love and advice just naturally come to me. Within two weeks three other people, all independent of each other, came to me with also the same exact words of “I think you’d be really good at counseling.” When the fourth person said it I said out loud “Woah ok hold on, this cannot be coincidence.” So right there around the fire my friends encouraged me and gave me the little push I needed to get serious about going back to school.<br />
One of my biggest qualms about it is money. Education is expensive. Seminary is extremely expensive. Amanda quickly shot down my excuse and said “If money is your biggest reason to not go back to school, or fear of debt, that’s a really poor excuse. God is so much bigger than any student loan. If He’s really calling you to this, you need to answer and He WILL provide.” In that moment, I realized part of my excuse was based in pride. I’ve been proud that to this day I have no debt to my name.<br />
I went to bed that night with my brain buzzing so loud with excitement I could barely sleep. Could this finally be it?<br />
First thing the next day I began comparing tuition expenses with those in Ohio. It became very clear that by staying here I’d be able to cut some of my education in half. On a sort of whim, I decided to put a fleece before God and just look and see if there was any housing available here in Laramie (this close to the school year no less). Within minutes of searching I located a very affordable apartment, and what do you know, he was available to show it that very same day. I swung by the community college and they gave me the information on how to pursue academic residency.<br />
I came home with my mind and heart full of hope and excitement. Is this real? Am I really looking at moving to Laramie? Am I really ready to say goodbye to Ohio and no longer be a Buckeye?<br />
I had about four days to give the guy an answer on the apartment. And you can bet those four days were filled with a lot of prayer, conversations of advice giving, and everyone here saying “Please stay! We love you! You’ve already gone bouldering you’re already mostly a Laramite.” I talked a lot with my parents and we expressed mutual hopes and concerns. My Dad said probably the best thing when he told me “I don’t care where you are as long as you are following God, and your focus is on Him. Wherever He takes you is fine with me.”<br />
<br />
So there I was one afternoon, enjoying awhile of quiet time with God and thinking over all of these pros and cons, fears and worries, hopes and dreams, and people I love here, and people I love at home, and trying to figure out what is the RIGHT decision – when all of a sudden, my attention was drawn to 2 Corinthians 12:9.<br />
“And he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”<br />
In that moment God spoke to me: You are weak right now. You lack the direction, plan, and understanding for your future that most people have. But MY strength is made perfect in that. You are weak in that you are alone. You crave and desire to be married. You have let men and relationships become an idol in your life. But MY strength is made perfect in that too.<br />
I took a deep breath of the mountain air, looked around as my eyes blurred with unexpected tears and said out loud “I’m not ready to leave these mountains yet.” And in that moment I received great peace to stay. I fell to my knees and began just worshipping God and thanking Him for everything in my life.<br />
The good and beautiful friendships I have made.<br />
The painful ending of my relationship with my boyfriend, and Jesus’ perfect love, mercy, and patience through all of it.<br />
The opportunity to work at Table and share life with so many people.<br />
The opportunity to stay here in this incredible part of our Country.<br />
And above all, His faithfulness and unending love to me and everyone.<br />
<br />
Within a week of the decision to stay I’ve also been incredibly blessed with a job that was offered to me on the spot during the interview, and this was after being told by a few Laramites “It’s hard to find work here.” Perfectly timed, as God often does, the job doesn’t even begin until Camp ends.<br />
<br />
And then, as if He was reminding me that He is with me every step of the way… in that the guest speaker spoke almost everything to the students that God has been showing and teaching me in the past four months. She spoke on saying yes to Him and stepping out in Faith. She spoke on refusing sloppy seconds in life, and trusting Him that He provides the absolute best for His children. She shared personally with me about being in a relationship that was on the track to marriage, but God ended it for her betterment in life. Everything she spoke confirmed what was being written in my heart.<br />
So here I am. Nearing the end of a Summer Ministry Adventure, but getting closer and closer the beginning of what I expect will be a grand and amazing Wyoming Ministry Adventure.<br />
Thanks, as always, for being a part of this. For reading these long posts. For daily praying for me and laboring in love alongside me.<br />
<br />
Until next time!<br />
<br />
Peace, grace, and blessings be multiplied to you dear brothers and sisters.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-58823280933224177962016-07-21T00:00:00.000-07:002016-08-31T16:41:17.446-07:00His Mercy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-56978829246841045862016-07-13T00:00:00.000-07:002016-08-31T16:37:35.912-07:00Mid-Summer ReportI apologize for it being so long since my last post. I was not kidding when I said the busy season was upon us. Since I wrote last we have had a group of two middle school youth groups, open highschool camp, a high school youth group, and open kids camp.<br />
<br />
One of the concerns I had going into all this was "Am I going to get bored doing the same field games and working on the same rock wall every weeks? Am I going to turn into a robot when I ask these kids questions about themselves and their lives?"<br />
Short answer: not even a little bit. Because every group is different, and every kid has a different story to tell.<br />
<br />
As I sit here sipping my morning coffee and soaking in the mountains (praise that the smoke levels have dropped a lot!) I'm going back and forth on what stories to share, because I can't share all of them. It would be the length of a novella.<br />
Do I share my own bits of growth and learning?<br />
Or the moments I have with my roommates and getting to counsel them?<br />
Or the one on ones with the high-schoolers?<br />
Or what about the late nights with my girls during Kids Camp?<br />
<br />
What helps me decide is to remember that some of my readers are financially supporting me right now. Without them giving of their earthly possessions; it'd be a lot harder to be doing what I'm doing right now. A quick thank you to everyone who is supporting me in whatever way you are. I definitely could not be doing this without the love, support, prayers, and encouragement from home. :)<br />
<br />
I'll start with the middle-schoolers.<br />
<br />
I'm not going to lie and say I didn't have moments of telling myself to breathe and calm down. I never knew that middleschool boys could anger me quite so much. It wasn't just their lack of teamwork, refusal to work together, and insistence on constantly putting eachother down...it was mostly their complete lack of even trying to be men. They barely acknowledged the weakest in their numbers, and if they did, it was only long enough to make fun of him. It made me equally sad and angry. Nothing I could say would get through to them, and I was so caught off guard by it that I didn't even have much to say but glares. It was a sad reminderthat some boys grow up to be in the body of a man, but never truly become one. Which ended up being a timely lesson to carry with me to Kids Camp in talk after talk with my ten year old girls about boys.<br />
<br />
The middleschool girls were definitely a different story. I expected there to be cliques and exclusion, and have to pay special attention to making sure they got along. But, surprisingly, the girls listened to each other really well and had a lot of fun together. They even listened to me and I wasn't their youth group leader! I got to have a long conversation with two of them about their inherent, God-given value. That nothing, and no one, in life can ever take that from them. People will try, and life will try, but they will always be invaluably precious in God's eyes. Both of them were dealing with the drama of cliques and the social ladder and school, and one even had a girl completely diss her via Instagram and practically disown their entire friendship which had lasted their entire lives. I told her not to take it personal. Girls do nasty and cruel things to each other because we don't fully understand our value in Christ. We like to tear other girls down to make ourselves feel better. No matter how hard life gets, or how mean people become, don't let yourself fall to their level because that's exactly what they and satan want you to do. They see your joy, they see that Jesus lives in you and they want that SO BAD but they're too proud to ask; so the pick, bully, and tear at you in hopes of getting you to turn away from God's Love.<br />
<br />
Looking back on this conversation now, I'm a little shocked at just how many times I repeated it (in so many words) to different girls of different ages over the past couple of weeks. I absolutely LOVED sharing this with girls. My worth and value in Christ hasn't really been apparent to me until about this last year or so. I've been so blessed with older women pouring these words of life into me, and now I finally get to pour them into someone else.<br />
<br />
In the back to back high school camps I was thoroughly shocked, and heartbroken, to heart story after story of young men and women dealing with self-harm and suicide. Story after story of heartbreak and endless bullying that pushed them to the thoughts of "No one wants me. I'm a burden." I walked away from both of those camps with a still remaining burden for these young people. We've all seen the statistics and the numbers revolving around teen suicide. But to meet the"numbers" up close and personal was something else entirely. As they told me these things I found my own mind and tongue completely speechless. But then the Holy Spirit always came and gave me the exact words they needed to hear.<br />
<br />
I don't think I can properly put into words just how much these experiences have shaken and impacted me, or how much I love them. I crave these kinds of heart ot heart talks with people, especially other girls and women who are struggling through some of the same things I've struggled through. Almost every single day a door opens for me, if my heart is willing to go through it.<br />
<br />
So I'll finish this with a prayer request.<br />
<br />
My body is tired. I've been sick for almost three days now.<br />
My heart is tired too. After the second high school camp I didn't even want to talk to the new group of high-schoolers because I felt so overwhelmed with burden and emotion.<br />
And now, after Kids Camp, I barely want to talk to my fellow staff. I kind of just want to hide in my room with a book for a month and not look at ANYBODY.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-38968699549287316042016-06-23T00:00:00.000-07:002016-08-31T16:31:57.529-07:00He Fills You UpThe busy season has officially started, and it's not going to slow for about four more weeks. We are looking forward to two whole days off in July, and that's it.<br />
<br />
But through it all we find time for each other.<br />
To nourish our weary souls.<br />
To vent about a camper who acted out, or to laugh about what someone said in their sleep last night.<br />
To share burdens of things happening at home, because life outside of this paradise continues.<br />
To pray over each other as fears and worries surface during honest conversations.<br />
To serve, carry, and support whoever is down.<br />
Because here at Table we are more than temporary Summer Staff. We are family. Day by day, piece by piece; God has begun to knit our various hearts and personalities together. To the point that I've cried on three or four different shoulders. And had my own shoulder cried on more than once. I've been given the opportunity to share the lessons I've learned through the mistakes I've made with girls who are younger than I, in hopes that maybe even though I didn't always listen; they will listen to me.<br />
<br />
About two weeks after I arrived I suffered a personal loss. It was something that had been on my horizon for awhile. I had seen it coming, and chose to foolishly fight it. I don't think I ever ignored what I saw, but I definitely dug my heels in and said "I am not letting this go that easily." When it finally was time to let go, God made it as simple as I could've hoped for. Our Camp Mom sat with me by the fire one night and spoke words of such grace, peace, and wisdom to me. I knew she was right, but I really didn't want her to be.<br />
And then, it came. Against my desires. Against my feelings; that chapter was gently closed. And I honestly couldn't have asked for a better time or place for it to happen. I've been gifted with an amazing staff who has showed me endless love and support. Roommates who held me as tears turned into rivers, and simply prayed over me. A staffer who basically carried me into Church on Sunday as I felt paralyzed by the pain.<br />
<br />
Through it all my Father is as faithful as ever. He never once said "I told you so". He never once mocked my pain. He never condemned me for getting myself into this situation. He never once forsook me.<br />
Instead of being angry, He simply reminded me: "If My Eye is on the millions of creatures you can't even see, how much more is it on You My Daughter created in My image?" The knowledge of His enduring faithfulness and His relentless Love, coupled with such a loving and patient Staff, carried me those dark days. Of course, there's been a lot of texts, calls, prayers, and letters from home that have continually brightened my day. But more on those later.<br />
<br />
Just like everyone promise, here I am; slowly but surely approaching the other side. Reminded constantly of the fact that these children whose shouts and laughter fill our land; need me. I have been put here to love them and share the Gospel with them. To reach them using the talents God gave me.<br />
To top it all off, I leave you with this quote from our devotional this morning that reminded me that pain serves a purpose and is there to teach me, and bring me closer to Christ.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-76994482407333483172016-06-08T00:00:00.001-07:002016-08-31T16:27:29.079-07:00What If...? We went from about 20 to 100 in about three days time. We went from doing general maintenance and enjoying frequent naps and board game sessions to all day training.<br />
<br />
We had a blessing of a work group come in over last weekend and wrap up a lot of things in the newly built Grace Cabin. Joining us one day later was about a dozen 20-somethings who are training in a Wilderness Outdoor First Responder class with an awesome organization called Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries, which is based in Laramie, WY (just down the mountain and across the valley from us). They have been an absolute inspiration and joy to talk to and get to know.<br />
<br />
Getting to hear their story of how God brought them from various corners of our Country to sitting in my dining room has been such a blessing. I felt a lot alone in turning my life upside down and pursuing something completely unknown and off the beaten path, until I met them.<br />
<br />
And then our training with Beyond Ropes started. Three very long, very hot, and very tiring days in the sun learning everything from how to read and build group dynamics, to running a rescue on a zip line. It's been a long time since I felt the kind of terror that hit me yesterday as I'm lobster clawing up a pole, avoiding completely trusting on the staples. As I struggled to remove one claw from my harness so I could unwrap it from the pole, and get it over a cable to proceed in my climb; panic hit me as my claw would not come undone off of my harness. I knew in the back of my head that I was being securely belayed by Morgan and Trystan on the ground, but our instructor had told me to climb as if I wasn't on a belay. The more I struggled to get the claw undone, the more tired my arms became, and the harder it was to unclip it.<br />
<br />
It quickly became a dangerously exhausting compounding problem. So, my instructor stepped in, and with calm words from the ground told me to relax my arms and lean into the support of the attached claws. As I did, the pressure from my weight shifted my gear and actually made it easier to undo the clip and I safely completed my climb (and then my high wire walk).<br />
<br />
In short: It was terrifying. Here was a task that needed completed and I could not do it because my strength was quickly depleting. The more it depleted the harder everything became. So I had to trust my gear, and my belayers. I had to have faith that these things designed to hold three thousand pounds of force would do exactly that: Hold me. And I had to et go with my arms and no longer rely on my own strength to get me out.<br />
<br />
Which, of course, brings me back to the earlier bit of this post about having my life turned inside out. At some point over the winter I had to stop struggling and fighting in my own strength to get me out. Cuz guess what? My own strength most definitely fails me because it is never enough to get through this life all by itself. But Who's strength is always more than enough?<br />
<br />
Our Heavenly Father's. The One Who gave up His One and only Son to suffer and die for me. For you. His hands. His gear. It will never fail us; no matter the pickle we let ourselves get into.<br />
<br />
The picture is something I drew at Indianola months ago. Typed onto it is the verse that God has planted in our hearts over this past week. I challenge you to make your own list of What If's for Him and see where it takes you. :)<br />
<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-63553610741955616392016-06-02T00:00:00.000-07:002016-08-30T15:07:43.438-07:00Team Building TimeThe past couple of days have been a lot of cleaning and general maintenance to prepare for our upcoming busy season. Included in that the guys have been working tirelessly to dig up a waterline that has been leaking. Yesterday they finally got big equipment help...but they still haven't fixed the problem. We've been praying for them to find the fix and be protected from injury, because they've been digging close to an electric line.<br />
<br />
We got a mini tour of the game areas. While we were there the camp dog chased a poor injured deer right past us.<br />
<br />
Meals have been a group effort, since we don't have campers right now. Alec and Trystan donated a ham roast from their own pastures and they put it in the crock pot to cook all afternoon. Hayden made herbed pan fried potatoes and I made a lemon glazed pound cake. It was all very delicious.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZJNcLMQHrXFAmjwU9CMkdJ_1ziTmcFsBJb85LhLlkVrcUj-w5pEy2RFXY-WJSMg7opAILV9zJdfqaFzH0fjUFc9EIOH-8cNSgHFbrRRCJ7KLXFmiBlYI1ChHsCgn_CQMhdlbAllAjrrU/s1600/FBook+7.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZJNcLMQHrXFAmjwU9CMkdJ_1ziTmcFsBJb85LhLlkVrcUj-w5pEy2RFXY-WJSMg7opAILV9zJdfqaFzH0fjUFc9EIOH-8cNSgHFbrRRCJ7KLXFmiBlYI1ChHsCgn_CQMhdlbAllAjrrU/s320/FBook+7.jpg" width="180" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdF1v7nLrIhFpzJ_WHJNMqwU6Fu1eZ95w_ElYORwJT73W5l7fh2P6b36JYpEXGmuAbWMZFINUwIIeGj-O1vIF1THZTigZnbSHpi0GJdH07NmdvZAcV25crIoX2OggSOE4poRO-lyzF3dQ/s1600/FBook+8.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdF1v7nLrIhFpzJ_WHJNMqwU6Fu1eZ95w_ElYORwJT73W5l7fh2P6b36JYpEXGmuAbWMZFINUwIIeGj-O1vIF1THZTigZnbSHpi0GJdH07NmdvZAcV25crIoX2OggSOE4poRO-lyzF3dQ/s320/FBook+8.jpg" width="320" /></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-62800118612497577722016-05-30T15:00:00.000-07:002016-08-30T15:03:32.367-07:00Snow and Ice CreamSpent pretty much all of yesterday in bed with an unknown illness that required lots of water and sleep.<br />
But I'm doing great today! We spent some of our holiday driving through the mountains and over to Saratoga Hot Springs. The springs were pretty much too hot to really get in (at least for me). And then we got ice cream at LollyPops.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhXnH1bmKCU6UEstrim8CnP51iKJiEL7PbJXKTZJJsfCXnWZ9yVSepZGyPQH9NWHQwq4Wjam3xN6xBPNjJ6YxwvQ0CGDJfk78a57e34gfHy2V5EabVcp5JUrofRhVvo8YKukAiMKYqTJo/s1600/FBook+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhXnH1bmKCU6UEstrim8CnP51iKJiEL7PbJXKTZJJsfCXnWZ9yVSepZGyPQH9NWHQwq4Wjam3xN6xBPNjJ6YxwvQ0CGDJfk78a57e34gfHy2V5EabVcp5JUrofRhVvo8YKukAiMKYqTJo/s320/FBook+6.jpg" width="180" /></a>Mostly I'm just in awe at how much snow is on the peaks and how vastly the weather changes in such a short trip.<br />
It's like three seasons in one afternoon.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiySb_lnJ2OUOMAWfsIjxaPX5chIC3wcBOUIG8QGVNip07uAc7kBGdlOGWTYrN4aRnmVyD3lSz3mGGomYejj48HzB7WAXuBwSZnPgMe__8emPL_cfhlEyZgHA9bqQvM855VOCCAsMF4lWg/s1600/FBook+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiySb_lnJ2OUOMAWfsIjxaPX5chIC3wcBOUIG8QGVNip07uAc7kBGdlOGWTYrN4aRnmVyD3lSz3mGGomYejj48HzB7WAXuBwSZnPgMe__8emPL_cfhlEyZgHA9bqQvM855VOCCAsMF4lWg/s320/FBook+7.jpg" width="179" /></a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-21464966965393325402016-05-27T14:58:00.000-07:002016-08-30T14:59:44.570-07:00MADE IT!I got very lucky today and only hit one storm in my cruise to Centennial. A couple of times I was so bored driving I wanted to scream, but I kept my focus...<br />
And the wind was nearly knocked out of me when I rounded the bend into Laramie and got my first real view of the mountains. I was so emotionally overwhelmed I almost cried.<br />
<br />
I had seen the silhouettes of the mountains about two hours before that and I called my boyfriend screaming "I FINALLY SEE THE MOUNTAINS". Everytime I see them it's like the first time it's ever happened.<br />
<br />
Finally. Finally I made it safely to camp, unloaded the car, and took a short nap. It's good to have all the driving DONE.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDjZOEO2jn9SBb_6EYs9-pXx1C1_NYV25ICPbohKRD_jXaTCpfLG_lYP29MgI53ho4HpCaYB5La8HdVFPOXNivUhEYB-3ziwBBBKM7hTU1Ulg_B5cJ8mFUhhxKGKdWM1IKq8V6lvFrT1k/s1600/FBook+5.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDjZOEO2jn9SBb_6EYs9-pXx1C1_NYV25ICPbohKRD_jXaTCpfLG_lYP29MgI53ho4HpCaYB5La8HdVFPOXNivUhEYB-3ziwBBBKM7hTU1Ulg_B5cJ8mFUhhxKGKdWM1IKq8V6lvFrT1k/s320/FBook+5.jpg" width="180" /></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-10675185519741799052016-05-27T14:55:00.000-07:002016-08-30T14:56:52.577-07:00Kearney, NENebraska tricked me!<br />
Pre Omaha stop I was wondering where these storms were that everyone was telling me about. And as soon as I left the restaurant I found them.<br />
<br />
30-40 miles down the highway I found myself caught in flash floods. At one point the rain was so thick I couldn't even see how deep the water was, and all the underpasses were full of cars so I couldn't get off the highway. So I prayed. I said "God I can't see how deep this water is. Protect my car and get us out of this."<br />
<br />
And we survived unscathed, but a little shaken.<br />
<br />
The rest of the drive to Kearney was smooth and I was greeted very warmly by the Buse's, fed a hearty meal of homemade beef enchiladas, and sent off this morning with another hearty meal and a very full tummy.<br />
<br />
Less than six hours to Centennial!!!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinOm9YfQHF6U04sOysvhN_WHoFJrMq9ytFM0vj9q9yQvFvlZppA76zkoJvG21rVBpejbDC_nNtym53F4tJbVunU5hCpf9ktTJgBjCEXmOmMHsoGOXd7gSvT0HMhOqcOw2ozH679DVsHWE/s1600/FBook+3.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinOm9YfQHF6U04sOysvhN_WHoFJrMq9ytFM0vj9q9yQvFvlZppA76zkoJvG21rVBpejbDC_nNtym53F4tJbVunU5hCpf9ktTJgBjCEXmOmMHsoGOXd7gSvT0HMhOqcOw2ozH679DVsHWE/s320/FBook+3.jpg" width="320" /></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-40116406254259598072016-05-26T14:54:00.000-07:002016-08-30T14:54:51.730-07:00Omaha, NEWent pedal to the metal yesterday. Maybe a little too hard...<br />
Started off the day fighting a sore throat that only worsened as the day progressed. I couldn't have asked for better weather and traffic conditions. It really was a perfect day for traveling.<br />
Boredom started to take over during the last couple of hours as even my favorite "get PUMPED" tunes weren't helping anymore to keep me focused. But I made it safe and sound to my Air BnB in Des Moines Iowa.<br />
My hosts, Kurt and Carla, were very friendly and talkative. He said he likes being a host because "everybody has a different story to tell". He shared some of his with me.<br />
<br />
I fell asleep around 11 and woke up around 11 this morning. TWELVE HOURS OF SLEEP. My body needed it, desperately. Sore throat is mostly gone, which is grand.<br />
<br />
Today's leg is much shorter. With the threat of Nebraskan storms looming on the horizon I've chosen to stay with a friends family tonight. So I get to take today a lot slower.<br />
<br />
With my slowed pace comes an unplanned stop in Omaha for lunch at a top rated restaurant. Pictured is the Bacon and Brie sandwich. I'll let you know how it is!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGC9BlvUnsuUfxmrvs4HBHEIwWYH0fSpzT7VcPqt5zis52CaATsgGsoyUnOJxxzGKzJ3jXd2-W25Q4QcSn3X9zZp0JvQTU2voI8qgy1gi4YPLbQCzbGnV4L3R1TSNWdZIh66exh0hk72I/s1600/FBook+4.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGC9BlvUnsuUfxmrvs4HBHEIwWYH0fSpzT7VcPqt5zis52CaATsgGsoyUnOJxxzGKzJ3jXd2-W25Q4QcSn3X9zZp0JvQTU2voI8qgy1gi4YPLbQCzbGnV4L3R1TSNWdZIh66exh0hk72I/s320/FBook+4.jpg" width="320" /></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-69575866846262795332016-05-19T14:52:00.000-07:002016-08-30T14:52:52.857-07:00Let it GoEverything in my life right now is new, and sometimes very scary. It's been a hard time recently keeping myself "together" (read: focused fully on Christ and not having daily breakdowns because of worry). But these past couple of days I've just been praying:<br />
<br />
"God. I'm done worrying. I've spent so much time being so concerned and worried about who You want me to be, where You want me to go, who You want me to marry, and how I'm going to get there and make all of it happen. I'm done. I'm tired and I'm done stressing over it. Take me where You want me."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-970662801755458202016-05-17T14:49:00.000-07:002016-08-30T14:50:02.539-07:00Prayer, pleaseWe're almost there. So close I can already almost smell the mountains.<br />
<br />
Ok. Maybe not that close. But close enough that is definitely time to pack and make sure everything is in order!<br />
<br />
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. It's been a tumultuous week. And I need prayer. I don't like saying "unspoken prayer request", but I am definitely going to keep this one vague.<br />
<br />
Right now I am being seriously tested on whether or not I ACTUALLY TRULY REALLY trust God to be Who He says He is - my Loving, Caring, and Gentle Father Who desired to provide the best for me. In my limited view of life I can't see how this is going to end well. I'm afraid that if this goes how He wants it to then it won't be how I want it to be and I'll be miserable.<br />
<br />
Brothers and sisters. Please pray for me.<br />
<br />
Thank you.<br />
Peace and blessings,<br />
Elizabeth.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-27538742083410155982016-05-04T00:00:00.000-07:002016-08-30T14:47:14.484-07:00His GraceHow often I have forgotten this pure, beautiful, simple truth.<br />
How often I have tried to scale mountains and do everything on my own because I feel the need to make up for the fact that I'm human and weak.<br />
How often I have run from such amazing grace and immeasurable power because I think I can do it all on my own, because I want to prove something to Him or to everyone else.<br />
<br />
Our Father know we are weak. He knows we are grass. He knows we are partially made up of fleshly shells. He created us after all!<br />
<br />
So let's stop fighting to prove something to Him and just rest in what He's already done and finished for us at the Cross.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL212lNyatR2mDUxrw-kjCfXF3bbZO2uMWBNfGPTgMLtteKkWi63JTfF9k_RpHkO9-ucaq_rls0pNbJHHwrxlM-TNzJgUV8C15qZBFWVQG2yebxhkZuQVIx9BzdjGJb-n3O7IoloHEEbw/s1600/FBook+2.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL212lNyatR2mDUxrw-kjCfXF3bbZO2uMWBNfGPTgMLtteKkWi63JTfF9k_RpHkO9-ucaq_rls0pNbJHHwrxlM-TNzJgUV8C15qZBFWVQG2yebxhkZuQVIx9BzdjGJb-n3O7IoloHEEbw/s320/FBook+2.jpg" width="320" /></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11692942884255586441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4395214908831291487.post-77157538397100746642016-04-30T00:00:00.000-07:002016-08-30T14:44:40.896-07:00Luke 14:33Not always does God tell people to sell all they have and go somewhere to accomplish something.<br />
But. He does require us to consider all that we have no longer ours and to surrender it all to Him.<br />
ALL.<br />
All of our hopes. Our deepest desires. Our biggest dreams. Our darkest fears. Our daily worries, cares, and concerns.<br />
Hand it all over and walk a little lighter and a little freer today. :)<br />
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