Thursday, June 23, 2016

He Fills You Up

The busy season has officially started, and it's not going to slow for about four more weeks. We are looking forward to two whole days off in July, and that's it.

But through it all we find time for each other.
To nourish our weary souls.
To vent about a camper who acted out, or to laugh about what someone said in their sleep last night.
To share burdens of things happening at home, because life outside of this paradise continues.
To pray over each other as fears and worries surface during honest conversations.
To serve, carry, and support whoever is down.
Because here at Table we are more than temporary Summer Staff. We are family. Day by day, piece by piece; God has begun to knit our various hearts and personalities together. To the point that I've cried on three or four different shoulders. And had my own shoulder cried on more than once. I've been given the opportunity to share the lessons I've learned through the mistakes I've made with girls who are younger than I, in hopes that maybe even though I didn't always listen; they will listen to me.

About two weeks after I arrived I suffered a personal loss. It was something that had been on my horizon for awhile. I had seen it coming, and chose to foolishly fight it. I don't think I ever ignored what I saw, but I definitely dug my heels in and said "I am not letting this go that easily." When it finally was time to let go, God made it as simple as I could've hoped for. Our Camp Mom sat with me by the fire one night and spoke words of such grace, peace, and wisdom to me. I knew she was right, but I really didn't want her to be.
And then, it came. Against my desires. Against my feelings; that chapter was gently closed. And I honestly couldn't have asked for a better time or place for it to happen. I've been gifted with an amazing staff who has showed me endless love and support. Roommates who held me as tears turned into rivers, and simply prayed over me. A staffer who basically carried me into Church on Sunday as I felt paralyzed by the pain.

Through it all my Father is as faithful as ever. He never once said "I told you so". He never once mocked my pain. He never condemned me for getting myself into this situation. He never once forsook me.
Instead of being angry, He simply reminded me: "If My Eye is on the millions of creatures you can't even see, how much more is it on You My Daughter created in My image?" The knowledge of His enduring faithfulness and His relentless Love, coupled with such a loving and patient Staff, carried me those dark days. Of course, there's been a lot of texts, calls, prayers, and letters from home that have continually brightened my day. But more on those later.

Just like everyone promise, here I am; slowly but surely approaching the other side. Reminded constantly of the fact that these children whose shouts and laughter fill our land; need me. I have been put here to love them and share the Gospel with them. To reach them using the talents God gave me.
To top it all off, I leave you with this quote from our devotional this morning that reminded me that pain serves a purpose and is there to teach me, and bring me closer to Christ.

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