Thursday, September 8, 2016

Is God your Cosmic Consultant? Part 2.

How many times (roughly) do you think you've asked God for wisdom and direction in your life?
Is it more often for something specific; do I take this job? do I date this person? do I buy this house? which major do I choose?

I've often prayed these things to Him. In my last relationship, I often said "God, help me to see what You want in my life. If You don't want me in this relationship, then let me know. I want to see what you see."

I don't know how many times I prayed this prayer. Dozens. Maybe even hundreds. But I don't think I meant it, ever. I wanted God's input. I wanted His advice. I wanted His perspective on my life. I wanted His opinion, blended in with all the other opinions of all of my friends and family members. I just wanted to know what He thought about things.

I didn't actually want His leadership. I didn't actually see God as Lord - ruler and leader - of my life. I wanted to do my own thing and then know what He thought of it.

I'm sharing all of this with you because I don't want my friends to handle their lives the same way. I don't want people to view God the same way I did for so long.
If you're going to give your life to God, then give it to Him.
If you say you surrender; then actually surrender.
If you say to Him in your worship and prayers "I am Yours, take me where You want me" then mean it. Because when you say those kinds of things to Him, He will challenge you on them. He will put you to the test to see if you're serious or not.

And the closer you walk to Him the more and more He will challenge you - dare you even - to walk closer to Him and lay down a little more of yourself to Him everyday. To die a little more everyday to yourself, to your desires, and to your own hopes.

When you ask Him what He wants for you, do you really mean it? Do you really want Him to rule over you and be your King?

Friday, September 2, 2016

Is God your Cosmic Consultant? pt. 1

Life is so surreal right now.

When I was a kid I wrote a little poem about one day growing up and living in the City, away from the farm and away from my parents.
I used to, at night, use the house-key to lock and unlock our never locked front door, and go in and out of our house, dozens of times, pretending I was a grown-up going in and out of my apartment; to and from work or whatever. I think at that age my dream job was a detective. I had recently discovered Sherlock Holmes and I wanted nothing more in life than to be a British consulting detective.

I may no longer be in a giant, million-person City, but I am now living alone. Every night I come home to my happy, cuddly, sweet little kitty. She greets me, checks on me, and then follows me around the apartment crying until I get into bed. She then curls up next to me with a little kitty smile on her face and purrs both of us to sleep. I like her a lot. She makes my apartment a home.

Since I made the decision to move into town I have been actively and consciously looking for Christian community to be a part of other than just Sunday morning service. Through two of my best buds from Camp I ended up at a campus Navigators meeting on Wednesday night. Navs is one of many Christian college-level organizations designed to help students in their walks with Christ through their college career.
I've been to a quite a few Campus ministry meetings over my life, but this one. Wow. I was impressed not only with the message, but also with the number of young Christians I met and their immediate genuineness and kindness towards me.

The point of the message was:
Is it worth your time to actively follow and pursue God in your college career?
Yes. It most definitely is.

"Why do you spend money for what is not good to eat, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and let your soul delight itself in abundance. Incline your war, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live; And I will make an everlasting covenant with you -" Isaiah 55:2-3

Good question.
Why do we spend our money on worthless things that do no satisfy our souls?
Why did I spend so much time and energy in my first round of college trying to satisfy my fleeting wants and desires?
Why do we "eat" what is bad and fill our hearts with junk and trash?

The speaker talked about his own fleshly pursuits in college, and how, in the long run, it greatly benefited his life to lay aside all of that and really, truly pursue God's Heart. He'd grown up in Church, but he had never really let God lead his life.
As he was talking I was reminded of the message I'd heard last Sunday Morning at the EvangelicalFree Church:

"If you're treating God as a cosmic consultant, He is not Lord of your life. God doesn't give advice. He gives instruction."

That line hit me right in the heart. Hard.
I was immediately reminded of how often I had prayed about my last relationship while I was in it; wanting to hear God's advice and input in my life but not actually wanting His rule and authority in my life. Even now, as I write this, it still ties my stomach in knots and makes me shake my head in shame and regret.

I can't change the past, but I can wisely improve the present by learning from my past and the pasts of those around me who share their own lessons, trials, and mistakes,.

Monday, August 15, 2016

His Heart for People

Were you ever taught or led to believe that Jesus was only a vengeful and angry man?

I believed that for a long time.
I had often pictured Him as someone Who only ever brought the sword and judgement down upon His enemies, or the people who didn’t heed Him. I saw Him as angry, more often than not, when He was speaking to the crowds or to His disciples.

But here we see something different. He is standing on Mount Olivet, looking down at Jerusalem, and He is weeping for the broken lives within. He is not angry that they will very soon crucify Him. He’s not pronouncing curses on them for what they are about to do; instead, His heart is broken for what He knows they will do. Not that He was sad for His death, but that He is utterly distraught that they are blind and broken souls.

It is so easy for me to look at sin, and look down upon the person in pride. To say “Well, my sins aren’t as bad as yours. Thank God I am not like you.” Or to think “Man, can’t you choose a less extreme sin? What is wrong with you! Stop destroying your life and the lives of your loved ones!”

But in this particular passage we see Jesus in pain as He weeps for the broken, lonely, and angry lives in the City of Jerusalem. And even now, His heart is broken for this World. He doesn’t look at people in their sin and want or desire to punish and burn them. No. He wants to reach them in their fear and loneliness and rescue them from it all. He wants to set people free to walk in true love to each other.

And He wants His people to have the same heart; to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free. The only way we can do this is by His Spirit - loving with His heart, and seeing the World and our neighbors with His eyes. We can never force someone into freedom. Or scold and lecture them into grace. We can only, by the Holy Spirit, show them the door and they themselves have to walk through it.

I encourage you, if you don’t already, to pray to have His heart and eyes for people. That He help you to love people beyond your own physical limits, and beyond what you alone can see of their lives. I know that, personally speaking, it makes a lot of difference in the lives of my Campers when I do this. It helps me to patient with the unruly ones. It helps me to have the right words to say the tired, hurt, and worn ones. And it pulls me out of my own shell of selfishness and step into someone else's pain for a little while.

Until next time,
Peace, love, grace, and blessings be multiplied to you.

*bonus note about the photo:
I took this sitting on the rooftop of one of the coolest restaurant concepts I’ve ever been to; a place in Denver called Avanti. My friend Marissa was showing me all the hippest places...until, right after this, she drove me through the heart of the gentrification. I was in such shock I didn’t even know how to respond as she explained to me that thousands of people were, quite literally, forced out of their third and fourth generation homes because a new stretch of highway was built. They were forced to sell their homes, and were given so little for them that there’s nowhere in Denver they can afford to live; so they’re homeless. The line for the shelter stretched down a street and began to wrap the block. A woman yelled to her friend “What’s wrong with these people? Why they gotta rob an old man! He’s jus’ an old man. He wasn’t doing anything. Why they gotta go rob him?!” Another woman was rocking back and forth sobbing uncontrollably while a young man attempted to calm her down and get her to breathe. And quite a few others just shuffled down the sidewalks, or sat and waited for their next crack-high. It is an image forever burned in my heart as I crawl into a comfy bed every night, and know where and how I’ll get my meals everyday.

Friday, July 22, 2016

He Leads Us in HIS Way

The current group we are hosting is a national youth group, with divisions of students from California, Colorado, and our very own Laramie. It’s pretty cool to see these young men and women from all over come together as one under Christ with us for this past week. And next week we have the pleasure of serving the same youth group, but their middle schoolers instead of high schoolers.
I’ve sat in on some of their evening Chapel services and they really have been a blessing to me. I’ve learned from their speaker, leaders, and students alike. It truly is a beautiful and wonderful thing to see God working so intimately with so many people, especially young people, and then to see them in response have their hearts open to Him and to each other.
The first Chapel I attended the above verse was one of the focus passages. It really snapped me to attention because about a week ago I was meditating on this very verse and God spoke to me through it. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself…let me back up and explain.

Right before I departed to come here I met with two different OSU Advisors, talked over a lot of academic options, and decided to register for a class in the University Exploration Major. Which is a fancy way of saying Undecided. The goal of the class is to educate the student on the various majors and minors offered at OSU, discover my own strengths and weaknesses, and help to focus my desires into a tangible career. Everyone here at Camp knew I was thinking about going back to school full-time, but very undecided as to the how and what. So part of the reason that I chose to come here was that I’d more clearly discover what I’m good at and where my talents are.
I’ll never forget the moment in the van on the way to the river when Trystan asked me “Lizz, you ever thought about counseling?” The pause in my response was hilariously awkward as I tried to figure out why Trystan thought I needed to see a counselor.
Of course what she meant was, have you thought about becoming a counselor? She was particularly struck by how easily I meet people exactly where they are, and how words of love and advice just naturally come to me. Within two weeks three other people, all independent of each other, came to me with also the same exact words of “I think you’d be really good at counseling.” When the fourth person said it I said out loud “Woah ok hold on, this cannot be coincidence.” So right there around the fire my friends encouraged me and gave me the little push I needed to get serious about going back to school.
One of my biggest qualms about it is money. Education is expensive. Seminary is extremely expensive. Amanda quickly shot down my excuse and said “If money is your biggest reason to not go back to school, or fear of debt, that’s a really poor excuse. God is so much bigger than any student loan. If He’s really calling you to this, you need to answer and He WILL provide.” In that moment, I realized part of my excuse was based in pride. I’ve been proud that to this day I have no debt to my name.
I went to bed that night with my brain buzzing so loud with excitement I could barely sleep. Could this finally be it?
First thing the next day I began comparing tuition expenses with those in Ohio. It became very clear that by staying here I’d be able to cut some of my education in half. On a sort of whim, I decided to put a fleece before God and just look and see if there was any housing available here in Laramie (this close to the school year no less). Within minutes of searching I located a very affordable apartment, and what do you know, he was available to show it that very same day. I swung by the community college and they gave me the information on how to pursue academic residency.
I came home with my mind and heart full of hope and excitement. Is this real? Am I really looking at moving to Laramie? Am I really ready to say goodbye to Ohio and no longer be a Buckeye?
I had about four days to give the guy an answer on the apartment. And you can bet those four days were filled with a lot of prayer, conversations of advice giving, and everyone here saying “Please stay! We love you! You’ve already gone bouldering you’re already mostly a Laramite.” I talked a lot with my parents and we expressed mutual hopes and concerns. My Dad said probably the best thing when he told me “I don’t care where you are as long as you are following God, and your focus is on Him. Wherever He takes you is fine with me.”

So there I was one afternoon, enjoying awhile of quiet time with God and thinking over all of these pros and cons, fears and worries, hopes and dreams, and people I love here, and people I love at home, and trying to figure out what is the RIGHT decision – when all of a sudden, my attention was drawn to 2 Corinthians 12:9.
“And he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
In that moment God spoke to me: You are weak right now. You lack the direction, plan, and understanding for your future that most people have. But MY strength is made perfect in that. You are weak in that you are alone. You crave and desire to be married. You have let men and relationships become an idol in your life. But MY strength is made perfect in that too.
I took a deep breath of the mountain air, looked around as my eyes blurred with unexpected tears and said out loud “I’m not ready to leave these mountains yet.” And in that moment I received great peace to stay. I fell to my knees and began just worshipping God and thanking Him for everything in my life.
The good and beautiful friendships I have made.
The painful ending of my relationship with my boyfriend, and Jesus’ perfect love, mercy, and patience through all of it.
The opportunity to work at Table and share life with so many people.
The opportunity to stay here in this incredible part of our Country.
And above all, His faithfulness and unending love to me and everyone.

Within a week of the decision to stay I’ve also been incredibly blessed with a job that was offered to me on the spot during the interview, and this was after being told by a few Laramites “It’s hard to find work here.” Perfectly timed, as God often does, the job doesn’t even begin until Camp ends.

And then, as if He was reminding me that He is with me every step of the way… in that the guest speaker spoke almost everything to the students that God has been showing and teaching me in the past four months. She spoke on saying yes to Him and stepping out in Faith. She spoke on refusing sloppy seconds in life, and trusting Him that He provides the absolute best for His children. She shared personally with me about being in a relationship that was on the track to marriage, but God ended it for her betterment in life. Everything she spoke confirmed what was being written in my heart.
So here I am. Nearing the end of a Summer Ministry Adventure, but getting closer and closer the beginning of what I expect will be a grand and amazing Wyoming Ministry Adventure.
Thanks, as always, for being a part of this. For reading these long posts. For daily praying for me and laboring in love alongside me.

Until next time!

Peace, grace, and blessings be multiplied to you dear brothers and sisters.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Mid-Summer Report

I apologize for it being so long since my last post. I was not kidding when I said the busy season was upon us. Since I wrote last we have had a group of two middle school youth groups, open highschool camp, a high school youth group, and open kids camp.

One of the concerns I had going into all this was "Am I going to get bored doing the same field games and working on the same rock wall every weeks? Am I going to turn into a robot when I ask these kids questions about themselves and their lives?"
Short answer: not even a little bit. Because every group is different, and every kid has a different story to tell.

As I sit here sipping my morning coffee and soaking in the mountains (praise that the smoke levels have dropped a lot!) I'm going back and forth on what stories to share, because I can't share all of them. It would be the length of a novella.
Do I share my own bits of growth and learning?
Or the moments I have with my roommates and getting to counsel them?
Or the one on ones with the high-schoolers?
Or what about the late nights with my girls during Kids Camp?

What helps me decide is to remember that some of my readers are financially supporting me right now. Without them giving of their earthly possessions; it'd be a lot harder to be doing what I'm doing right now. A quick thank you to everyone who is supporting me in whatever way you are. I definitely could not be doing this without the love, support, prayers, and encouragement from home. :)

I'll start with the middle-schoolers.

I'm not going to lie and say I didn't have moments of telling myself to breathe and calm down. I never knew that middleschool boys could anger me quite so much. It wasn't just their lack of teamwork, refusal to work together, and insistence on constantly putting eachother was mostly their complete lack of even trying to be men. They barely acknowledged the weakest in their numbers, and if they did, it was only long enough to make fun of him. It made me equally sad and angry. Nothing I could say would get through to them, and I was so caught off guard by it that I didn't even have much to say but glares. It was a sad reminderthat some boys grow up to be in the body of a man, but never truly become one. Which ended up being a timely lesson to carry with me to Kids Camp in talk after talk with my ten year old girls about boys.

The middleschool girls were definitely a different story. I expected there to be cliques and exclusion, and have to pay special attention to making sure they got along. But, surprisingly, the girls listened to each other really well and had a lot of fun together. They even listened to me and I wasn't their youth group leader! I got to have a long conversation with two of them about their inherent, God-given value. That nothing, and no one, in life can ever take that from them. People will try, and life will try, but they will always be invaluably precious in God's eyes. Both of them were dealing with the drama of cliques and the social ladder and school, and one even had a girl completely diss her via Instagram and practically disown their entire friendship which had lasted their entire lives. I told her not to take it personal. Girls do nasty and cruel things to each other because we don't fully understand our value in Christ. We like to tear other girls down to make ourselves feel better. No matter how hard life gets, or how mean people become, don't let yourself fall to their level because that's exactly what they and satan want you to do. They see your joy, they see that Jesus lives in you and they want that SO BAD but they're too proud to ask; so the pick, bully, and tear at you in hopes of getting you to turn away from God's Love.

Looking back on this conversation now, I'm a little shocked at just how many times I repeated it (in so many words) to different girls of different ages over the past couple of weeks. I absolutely LOVED sharing this with girls. My worth and value in Christ hasn't really been apparent to me until about this last year or so. I've been so blessed with older women pouring these words of life into me, and now I finally get to pour them into someone else.

In the back to back high school camps I was thoroughly shocked, and heartbroken, to heart story after story of young men and women dealing with self-harm and suicide. Story after story of heartbreak and endless bullying that pushed them to the thoughts of "No one wants me. I'm a burden." I walked away from both of those camps with a still remaining burden for these young people. We've all seen the statistics and the numbers revolving around teen suicide. But to meet the"numbers" up close and personal was something else entirely. As they told me these things I found my own mind and tongue completely speechless. But then the Holy Spirit always came and gave me the exact words they needed to hear.

I don't think I can properly put into words just how much these experiences have shaken and impacted me, or how much I love them. I crave these kinds of heart ot heart talks with people, especially other girls and women who are struggling through some of the same things I've struggled through. Almost every single day a door opens for me, if my heart is willing to go through it.

So I'll finish this with a prayer request.

My body is tired. I've been sick for almost three days now.
My heart is tired too. After the second high school camp I didn't even want to talk to the new group of high-schoolers because I felt so overwhelmed with burden and emotion.
And now, after Kids Camp, I barely want to talk to my fellow staff. I kind of just want to hide in my room with a book for a month and not look at ANYBODY.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

He Fills You Up

The busy season has officially started, and it's not going to slow for about four more weeks. We are looking forward to two whole days off in July, and that's it.

But through it all we find time for each other.
To nourish our weary souls.
To vent about a camper who acted out, or to laugh about what someone said in their sleep last night.
To share burdens of things happening at home, because life outside of this paradise continues.
To pray over each other as fears and worries surface during honest conversations.
To serve, carry, and support whoever is down.
Because here at Table we are more than temporary Summer Staff. We are family. Day by day, piece by piece; God has begun to knit our various hearts and personalities together. To the point that I've cried on three or four different shoulders. And had my own shoulder cried on more than once. I've been given the opportunity to share the lessons I've learned through the mistakes I've made with girls who are younger than I, in hopes that maybe even though I didn't always listen; they will listen to me.

About two weeks after I arrived I suffered a personal loss. It was something that had been on my horizon for awhile. I had seen it coming, and chose to foolishly fight it. I don't think I ever ignored what I saw, but I definitely dug my heels in and said "I am not letting this go that easily." When it finally was time to let go, God made it as simple as I could've hoped for. Our Camp Mom sat with me by the fire one night and spoke words of such grace, peace, and wisdom to me. I knew she was right, but I really didn't want her to be.
And then, it came. Against my desires. Against my feelings; that chapter was gently closed. And I honestly couldn't have asked for a better time or place for it to happen. I've been gifted with an amazing staff who has showed me endless love and support. Roommates who held me as tears turned into rivers, and simply prayed over me. A staffer who basically carried me into Church on Sunday as I felt paralyzed by the pain.

Through it all my Father is as faithful as ever. He never once said "I told you so". He never once mocked my pain. He never condemned me for getting myself into this situation. He never once forsook me.
Instead of being angry, He simply reminded me: "If My Eye is on the millions of creatures you can't even see, how much more is it on You My Daughter created in My image?" The knowledge of His enduring faithfulness and His relentless Love, coupled with such a loving and patient Staff, carried me those dark days. Of course, there's been a lot of texts, calls, prayers, and letters from home that have continually brightened my day. But more on those later.

Just like everyone promise, here I am; slowly but surely approaching the other side. Reminded constantly of the fact that these children whose shouts and laughter fill our land; need me. I have been put here to love them and share the Gospel with them. To reach them using the talents God gave me.
To top it all off, I leave you with this quote from our devotional this morning that reminded me that pain serves a purpose and is there to teach me, and bring me closer to Christ.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

What If...?

We went from about 20 to 100 in about three days time. We went from doing general maintenance and enjoying frequent naps and board game sessions to all day training.

We had a blessing of a work group come in over last weekend and wrap up a lot of things in the newly built Grace Cabin. Joining us one day later was about a dozen 20-somethings who are training in a Wilderness Outdoor First Responder class with an awesome organization called Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries, which is based in Laramie, WY (just down the mountain and across the valley from us). They have been an absolute inspiration and joy to talk to and get to know.

Getting to hear their story of how God brought them from various corners of our Country to sitting in my dining room has been such a blessing. I felt a lot alone in turning my life upside down and pursuing something completely unknown and off the beaten path, until I met them.

And then our training with Beyond Ropes started. Three very long, very hot, and very tiring days in the sun learning everything from how to read and build group dynamics, to running a rescue on a zip line. It's been a long time since I felt the kind of terror that hit me yesterday as I'm lobster clawing up a pole, avoiding completely trusting on the staples. As I struggled to remove one claw from my harness so I could unwrap it from the pole, and get it over a cable to proceed in my climb; panic hit me as my claw would not come undone off of my harness. I knew in the back of my head that I was being securely belayed by Morgan and Trystan on the ground, but our instructor had told me to climb as if I wasn't on a belay. The more I struggled to get the claw undone, the more tired my arms became, and the harder it was to unclip it.

It quickly became a dangerously exhausting compounding problem. So, my instructor stepped in, and with calm words from the ground told me to relax my arms and lean into the support of the attached claws. As I did, the pressure from my weight shifted my gear and actually made it easier to undo the clip and I safely completed my climb (and then my high wire walk).

In short: It was terrifying. Here was a task that needed completed and I could not do it because my strength was quickly depleting. The more it depleted the harder everything became. So I had to trust my gear, and my belayers. I had to have faith that these things designed to hold three thousand pounds of force would do exactly that: Hold me. And I had to et go with my arms and no longer rely on my own strength to get me out.

Which, of course, brings me back to the earlier bit of this post about having my life turned inside out. At some point over the winter I had to stop struggling and fighting in my own strength to get me out. Cuz guess what? My own strength most definitely fails me because it is never enough to get through this life all by itself. But Who's strength is always more than enough?

Our Heavenly Father's. The One Who gave up His One and only Son to suffer and die for me. For you. His hands. His gear. It will never fail us; no matter the pickle we let ourselves get into.

The picture is something I drew at Indianola months ago. Typed onto it is the verse that God has planted in our hearts over this past week. I challenge you to make your own list of What If's for Him and see where it takes you. :)

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Team Building Time

The past couple of days have been a lot of cleaning and general maintenance to prepare for our upcoming busy season. Included in that the guys have been working tirelessly to dig up a waterline that has been leaking. Yesterday they finally got big equipment help...but they still haven't fixed the problem. We've been praying for them to find the fix and be protected from injury, because they've been digging close to an electric line.

We got a mini tour of the game areas. While we were there the camp dog chased a poor injured deer right past us.

Meals have been a group effort, since we don't have campers right now. Alec and Trystan donated a ham roast from their own pastures  and they put it in the crock pot to cook all afternoon. Hayden made herbed pan fried potatoes and I made a lemon glazed pound cake. It was all very delicious.

Monday, May 30, 2016

Snow and Ice Cream

Spent pretty much all of yesterday in bed with an unknown illness that required lots of water and sleep.
But I'm doing great today! We spent some of our holiday driving through the mountains and over to Saratoga Hot Springs. The springs were pretty much too hot to really get in (at least for me). And then we got ice cream at LollyPops.

Mostly I'm just in awe at how much snow is on the peaks and how vastly the weather changes in such a short trip.
It's like three seasons in one afternoon.

Friday, May 27, 2016


I got very lucky today and only hit one storm in my cruise to Centennial. A couple of times I was so bored driving I wanted to scream, but I kept my focus...
And the wind was nearly knocked out of me when I rounded the bend into Laramie and got my first real view of the mountains. I was so emotionally overwhelmed I almost cried.

I had seen the silhouettes of the mountains about two hours before that and I called my boyfriend screaming "I FINALLY SEE THE MOUNTAINS". Everytime I see them it's like the first time it's ever happened.

Finally. Finally I made it safely to camp, unloaded the car, and took a short nap. It's good to have all the driving DONE.

Kearney, NE

Nebraska tricked me!
Pre Omaha stop I was wondering where these storms were that everyone was telling me about. And as soon as I left the restaurant I found them.

30-40 miles down the highway I found myself caught in flash floods. At one point the rain was so thick I couldn't even see how deep the water was, and all the underpasses were full of cars so I couldn't get off the highway. So I prayed. I said "God I can't see how deep this water is. Protect my car and get us out of this."

And we survived unscathed, but a little shaken.

The rest of the drive to Kearney was smooth and I was greeted very warmly by the Buse's, fed a hearty meal of homemade beef enchiladas, and sent off this morning with another hearty meal and a very full tummy.

Less than six hours to Centennial!!!

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Omaha, NE

Went pedal to the metal yesterday. Maybe a little too hard...
Started off the day fighting a sore throat that only worsened as the day progressed. I couldn't have asked for better weather and traffic conditions. It really was a perfect day for traveling.
Boredom started to take over during the last couple of hours as even my favorite "get PUMPED" tunes weren't helping anymore to keep me focused. But I made it safe and sound to my Air BnB in Des Moines Iowa.
My hosts, Kurt and Carla, were very friendly and talkative. He said he likes being a host because "everybody has a different story to tell". He shared some of his with me.

I fell asleep around 11 and woke up around 11 this morning. TWELVE HOURS OF SLEEP. My body needed it, desperately. Sore throat is mostly gone, which is grand.

Today's leg is much shorter. With the threat of Nebraskan storms looming on the horizon I've chosen to stay with a friends family tonight. So I get to take today a lot slower.

With my slowed pace comes an unplanned stop in Omaha for lunch at a top rated restaurant. Pictured is the Bacon and Brie sandwich. I'll let you know how it is!

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Let it Go

Everything in my life right now is new, and sometimes very scary. It's been a hard time recently keeping myself "together" (read: focused fully on Christ and not having daily breakdowns because of worry). But these past couple of days I've just been praying:

 "God. I'm done worrying. I've spent so much time being so concerned and worried about who You want me to be, where You want me to go, who You want me to marry, and how I'm going to get there and make all of it happen. I'm done. I'm tired and I'm done stressing over it. Take me where You want me."

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Prayer, please

We're almost there. So close I can already almost smell the mountains.

Ok. Maybe not that close. But close enough that is definitely time to pack and make sure everything is in order!

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. It's been a tumultuous week. And I need prayer. I don't like saying "unspoken prayer request", but I am definitely going to keep this one vague.

Right now I am being seriously tested on whether or not I ACTUALLY TRULY REALLY trust God to be Who He says He is - my Loving, Caring, and Gentle Father Who desired to provide the best for me. In my limited view of life I can't see how this is going to end well. I'm afraid that if this goes how He wants it to then it won't be how I want it to be and I'll be miserable.

Brothers and sisters. Please pray for me.

Thank you.
Peace and blessings,

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

His Grace

How often I have forgotten this pure, beautiful, simple truth.
How often I have tried to scale mountains and do everything on my own because I feel the need to make up for the fact that I'm human and weak.
How often I have run from such amazing grace and immeasurable power because I think I can do it all on my own, because I want to prove something to Him or to everyone else.

Our Father know we are weak. He knows we are grass. He knows we are partially made up of fleshly shells. He created us after all!

So let's stop fighting to prove something to Him and just rest in what He's already done and finished for us at the Cross.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Luke 14:33

Not always does God tell people to sell all they have and go somewhere to accomplish something.
But. He does require us to consider all that we have no longer ours and to surrender it all to Him.
All of our hopes. Our deepest desires. Our biggest dreams. Our darkest fears. Our daily worries, cares, and concerns.
Hand it all over and walk a little lighter and a little freer today. :)